It says what it says so on the tin. The following article is 100% true, it does not represent my views of any kind and you must totally follow these procedures as if your life depends on it. These are facts.
Facts, I tell you.
Don’t worry. You can trust me….
People are really spreading terrible rumours about you on Twitter. Do click the DM link, otherwise shockingly painful things will happen to you. Be sure to find that person who is spreading those vicious lies about you and make them pay, in blood…