Posts Tagged ‘funny’


100% real weight loss solution

100% real weight loss solution

In an age largely reliant on the internet, there has been a massive change to people’s lifestyles in the last 15 years or so. That being said, We have generally seen an increasingly overweight human race… from what I hear that is (What do I know? I’m only 20). It’s not like I knew much when I was five, right? (Actually, I have heard I was a pretty smart kid but that is besides the point)…

Don’t worry, this isn’t an article that bashes the Internet and tells you to eat your vitamins, say your prayers and run around in the park for six hours. Instead I am focusing on something a lot more specific.

Note: This is my first proper article in a long time. So cut me some slack, let’s see where it takes us. (Oh, and the steps are at the end of this article).

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Harry-Potter-Facebook-Poke

First of all, let me enlighten you to the fact that I’ve only ever used this function like once or twice… all of which were poke-backs.

Also, it has been a loooong time since I’ve written an article in the “My Thoughts On” series. But anyway… on to the Poking!

NEVER have I encountered such a useless function on any social networking website.

I mean, what the hell does it even do? Is it supposed to emulate a real-life poke? Because believe you me, it doesn’t resemble that in the slightest. (more…)


duck_face example

Ah, we all knew this would eventually crop up some time or another eh?

*Evil laughter*

This is like the perfect rant practically begging to happen, and don’t you know it…

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voldemort3

2013 was undoubtedly the year of the selfie.

Don’t worry, I haven’t got an issue with that.

But what creeps me out is the extra-bright selfie.

You know… the light intensive photos.
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demons_run_by_falconflight13-d4hj85w

No humour, no punchline. Just pure bullshit. Views make me feel warm and fuzzy inside so just go ahead and read it.

(Don’t judge me)

Demons run. Demons run when a good man goes to war.

Pat yourself on the back if you know where the title is from. Slap yourself if you don’t. (Comment if you know where I stole the title from)

What with people still on-about their resolutions for 2014… here’s a likkle pep talk/motivational speech sorta thing. It’s more for myself and fellow bloggers than for the general public to read. But don’t stop reading now. Trust me, there’s no turning back… (more…)


2014 fb syd

First of all, what did y’all think of the “Xmas 2013 special” on my blog?

What?

What do you mean you haven’t read it?

Ah, well there wasn’t an Xmas special you see. That’s probably why… (more…)


silence

So some (none) of you may have noticed that I haven’t posted for about 2 weeks. Sure I miss the occasional weekly post… But for two darn weeks I went silent.

I went quiet quiet. not even a tweet from either @EssWhyDeeBlog or @EssWhyTech

Sure, It isn’t a huge deal. But what if there was a deeper meaning to the silence?

Just think… (more…)


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I’ve tuned down the humour for this article. It’s genuinely something to ponder about.

“What doesn’t kill you, make you stronger” is a phrase that has always been rather popular with the unwashed masses. Heck, It’s a pretty darn good saying an’ all, don’t-cha think? …. Don’t-chaaa?

Commonly used to raise one’s spirit, usually a lie told to yourself to make you feel like you are stronger than you actually are.

Is there anything wrong with that? Of course not… We all need to tell ourselves a little white lie once in a while so we feel comfortably satisfied with what has just happened or to help us come to terms with such and such.

But then you can also apply this phrase in a more literal manner. (more…)


Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy

Logic – “Reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity”

I get amazed at the lack of logic us humans use sometimes.

It’s just plain and simple things that people over-complicate which causes them to have little to no logic in what they do or say.

Why can’t people just think like me…? Then the whole world would be a much simpler place.

For example:

Today is the 4th of November which means it’s almost Bonfire night.

November starts with an “N”, which is the 14th letter of the alphabet. (more…)


The Golden Eagle SYDblog Logo

The Golden Eagle SYDblog Logo

Just look at that beauty…

What more can I say?

This wasn’t even supposed to be a blog-post, but whatever… Might as well give you a double dose of The EssWhyDee Blog this week.

BEHOLD. My friends.

Welcome.

Welcome to the Golden Eagle era.

Let me hang up your jackets. Oh, and do take a seat… (more…)


Or as you might say... "Haters gonna hate"

Or as you might say… “Haters gonna hate”

This is a topic that can pretty much be under any category. For example, I could have easily made this into an Interpreted article, a My Thoughts On article, or even added it to the most popular category, Why Bother?

But then I remembered, I had promised that you guys got to dictate what format of article you wanted. Apparently, 50% of you wanted a funny rant. Great.

Fucking great. Humour doesn’t just grow on trees you know.

Anyway, to this week’s topic…

Haters.

The way this term is thrown about over the internet, real life and in general conversation lately has started to bug me so much that I thought I’d write something on it.

How original eh? *Smiles creepily while the lights flicker* (more…)


“Interpreted” is the name of my brand new project on The EssWhyDee Blog. Well, I say project… I mean seriesNote: This is just a test to see how the article goes down with my readers. I’m relying on that Thumbs up/down gauge to the top left of this post for you to tell me whether or not you enjoyed it or not. Please click one of the two (You don’t need to be logged in to do so).

Rose...+I+m+so+sorry.+but+don+t+worry+I+got+this_b5da7e_4690070

Ah yes, this old classic.

Remember when life was shit? ….. – Ahhh yes, them good ol’ days.

Remember when times were hard? ….. – Yes. Wait, where exactly are you going with this?

Remember when life was giving you lemons? ….. - Lemons? The fuck. I never got any lemons.

One of your buddies comes along and tells you that one thing that you really want to hear when you’re down in the gutters. (more…)


marv

I took over half an hour selecting an appropriate header image for this article, so please… Take a moment out to appreciate it. That is exactly what being in the friendzone feels like x 100 (From reliable sources).

I’ve been meaning to write this article for quite some time now, but I’ve never actually got round to it. One of the reasons being that I believed that I could write a decent introduction and a punchline finish (As per usual), but I didn’t know exactly what to write in the body of the text. I had informed some of my friends that I wanted to write this article and they seemed to quite like the idea. So here goes….
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Just a quick post folks…

For the regular readers of The EssWhyDee Blog, you obviously know that I NEVER rant about anything, so here’s something new.

PSSSHTT.

It doesn’t really ‘annoy’ me as such, but is something that occurs waaaay more than what is considered a healthy amount… (more…)


shockwm

What the actual fuck goes on here?

Certain people have this habit. The habit of whispering instead of talking.

Whaaat? Why would you even do such a thing?

As it is, We’re in a noisy environment. These people then decide to go on and actually WHISPER (or near about) as a means of communication.

As if I haven’t had a tiring day and want to just kick back. Now I have to put in all that extra brain-power to solely focus on the bullshit coming outta their collective mouths.
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Leicester_City_Centre

I haven’t posted in a while. Which is good news for society because that usually means that nothing is annoying me enough to sit down write about it.

Anyway, today I experienced the human jolt. You heard… The human jolt… – That sidestep thingy we’re forced to do in public.

You know… When two people are walking in opposite directions to each other and you try to judge the other person’s movement and steps to see which side of the narrow pavement they are going to walk on. In movies, It’s a great scene, sure… Some would say it’s ‘cute’, even. But real life tells a whole different story. Believe me… (more…)


coverpicwithedge

Over the past day or two, I have hyped up that I have a few good posts coming up on this blog. I do have the ideas written down, but nothing has been put on WordPress as of yet… I’m holding fire to space out my posts a bit more. Do expect some half decent, well thought out articles in this week and the next.

Not to say that they’ll be the best articles to come from my strange mind… But It’ll be good for a final push to get me about 5 more followers (you’ll soon see why).

Shit… I hope I haven’t upped your expectations too much. Oh, Urm…. (more…)


You'd better believe every single word you read in this article...

You’d better believe every single word you read in this article…

It says what it says so on the tin. The following article is 100% true, it does not represent my views of any kind and you must totally follow these procedures as if your life depends on it. These are facts.

Facts, I tell you.

Don’t worry. You can trust me…. ;-)

Twitter:

People are really spreading terrible rumours about you on Twitter. Do click the DM link, otherwise shockingly painful things will happen to you. Be sure to find that person who is spreading those vicious lies about you and make them pay, in blood…
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fake-smile

Whether it’s full or a half-smile, whether it’s natural or forced…

You already know which smile I’m talking about.

We do it all the time… In fact, we receive them just as often if not more. We can all recognise a fake smile when we see one.

You’re doing it right now aren’t you? Look at you, practicing and that…

I’m talking about that one when you see the cashier over at the supermarket. (more…)


knowledge_hub_fb_hashtags-300x300

The very first readers of The EssWhyDee Blog may or may not recall my first ever rant. It was titled “Blog 3 – Hash Tagging on Facebook” and pretty much laid down the foundation for future rants to come and similar articles. So you could say that it was the beginning of this legacy I have created (not).

It wasn’t massively popular as It was still early days for myself, blogging… But it did end up bringing in some valuable early views. Anyway… A while back, it was pointed out to me that Hash tagging now works on Facebook and so I had to make a decision. Delete, or amend.

I chose neither…
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individualMedium

Today, my friends… I will show you the light.

I shall show you how to defend yourself in an argument, how to be untouchable. You heard…

Untouchable.

I can hear your heart beating faster. I’m glad I’ve got your attention. The answers to life shall be revealed in this very post. The space continuum shall collapse by the time you finish reading this article. Words that should never be uttered will be told and all hell shall break loose.

Psht, Why do you even read the shit I write? Anyway. Back to the subject…

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Quick note: The EssWhyDee Blog has reached 3,000 views! That’s 3K. 3 grand. That’s 10 x 300. That’s five times the population of… Oh never mind, I’m sure you get the picture. – Hold your applause, people. I know. I know.

homerswear

Don’t you think this GIF is just awesome?!

I might get a lot of stick for this post… But whatever. This isn’t aimed at any particular person so just take it with a pinch of salt.

Swearing in pictures has always baffled me… People flip the camera off, actually posing with their middle finger raised.

It’s just so… Weird.

I genuinely cannot find a logical explanation behind this phenomena, so give me a sec while I get my shit together…
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image

Yeah, so I had an alright weekend. You know, just the usual…. Flying planes and stuff… Ah, Who am I kidding? It was frikkin’ AWESOME! (It was a belated birthday present).

Anyway, now that that that that’s out the way. Let us get on with this article. (more…)


youre-trying-too-hardmeme

Quick note: I will not be posting as much in the weekdays as I’ve started working. I knew you’d understand! Now, let’s crack on…

You know what annoys me a substantial amount?

We don’t want to know.

“Tell us more, Syd!”

Ok then, if you insist. Here goes…
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Official Esswhydeeblog Logo

So… It all started as a mere idea.

I was on a gap year and I had a desire to express my views… In particular, I wanted to share a story.

The first hurdle for me, was choosing the right blogging platform for myself. Blogger seemed like the obvious option, but immediately I was put off… Same situation with Tumblr, but decided I wasn’t going to be a micro-blogger. Finally, I found WordPress, downloaded the Android app and stuck with it… And boy am I glad that I did.

So I finally typed up the story I had to tell. It was called My Bizarre Experience. I split it into two parts because initially, I wanted the very first readers of my blog to return a few days later. I had chosen a very bad, dark theme at the time and everything was all very… Urm… Amateur.
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Seriously?

Who even wears sunglasses indoors?

*70% of the internet raise their virtual hands*

Why would you do such a thing?

Does the Sun penetrate your ceiling, before burning the insides of your retina???

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Question mark liberal

Unlike usual, The EssWhyDee Blog has had a bit of traffic from web searches the last few days…
People have genuinely searched for the correct uses of “There”, “Their” and “They’re” and ended up on my blog reading my previous Why Bother? article, I feel quite sorry for them actually…
All they got was a sarcastic rant which would’ve just confused them more than before reading it. Unfortunately, I failed to realise that there are many different kinds of people in this world, some that may still be of young age and learning…and others who are just plain thick…

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keep-calm-and-use-grammar-check-for-there-their-and-they-re

There, their and they’re

Seriously…?

Do I actually have to cover this topic?

It’s basic human knowledge. Some would even call it common sense.

I mean. Come on. How hard can it be?

There = A person’s possession

Their = They are

They’re = Opposite of ‘here’

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the-end-03

So I’ve Just got back from holiday and I’ve been thinking…

Enough is enough.

It has been just under 4 months of writing on The EssWhyDee Blog and now I feel that it is time…

Time to hang up my boots.

After countless sleepless nights, tens of hours spent thinking about things to write, laughing at my own jokes and checking every single minute for new views…It has certainly been a roller-coaster ride for me, to say the least. (more…)


slang-language-300x216I’ve noticed people using slang excessively on the Internet recently…

Don’t get me wrong, I like slang.

Slang is convenient.

It is totally acceptable on the Internet as well as in a normal conversation nowadays…But something about it has been bothering me…

Yes, that’s right. Surprise, surprise.

“A mini rant with a sprinkle of what the actual fuck” is the forecast for the next 30 seconds.

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wpid-pickup-line-scientistbloglifeedited

Yes, I made this meme. I had that much time on my hands – Syd

  1. I have decided to start a new series of blog posts (along with everything else) that basically consists of things that bother me, in a fun, bite-size format that you can spend a minute or two reading and hopefully have a little chuckle at…The series will be called “Why Bother?”
  2. Creative writing has always been something I have been generally interested in. Therefore I will be releasing two-part mini stories every so often, trying to perfect the art of creating effective cliffhangers, as a creative exercise. Hope you guys enjoy it…This series will be called “Blogisode
  3. I also have one or two other things currently up my sleeve (no, not tissues or anything like that) for this blog, so do hit that follow button if you want to read some creative mini-stories and some little ranty posts you can read at breakfast.

Peace,

Syd

Oh, and since I’m on the laptop, I’ll start things off by giving you a Why Bother? Blog as soon as I write it up!


This article has been chosen by readers (via the poll in this blog http://wp.me/p3jOHU-eU) to be written next. Well, sort of anyway ;-)

social-networks-masthead.20120606230818We live in a world where people poke one another, write on each other’s walls, like every single thing they do, follow one another, repeat(retweet) what people say and even add them to circles. All virtually of course…otherwise that’d be a bit…weird, to say the least.

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Brain scanning technology is quickly approachi...

The Human Brain

As confusing as the heading is, i’m sure you’ve gathered by now, that my blog is starting to form a structure. Naturally, i’m trying to post as frequently as possible, blogging my thoughts on topics, blogging my past experiences, general rants, And i’m even releasing an ebook this Friday, as a creative exercise for myself, all alongside fitting in my day to day busy lifestyle…(not)

Now, this structure I mentioned, comes in the form of my new categories.. These are helping me arrange my blog posts into different sections. But a particular category I have thoroughly enjoyed writing in so far, is the ‘My Thoughts on Certain Topics’ category(which you can access from the left hand side of my website, under the Calendar).

So… Here are my thoughts, on ‘My Thoughts’…….

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